30.4.10
29 April 2010
a frozen stare
a girl frigid like frost bite
but with more bark
what a mouth making wars
breaking hearts,
bone blown in the bodily catastrophe,
the condemnation of beauty,
undeniable eyes would watch her
indiscreet whispers are loud enough,
the gestures profane enough
for her to feel it melting her
down to nothing
the onset of warm years
lay waste to icicle veins
so pristine and sharp
and deadly they could
tear a part of soul
slick straight right out of its shell
here danger, here blues!
extinguished in the haze
of crazed heat waves
her pretty eyes go listless
reduced to a small body of water
the demise of the ice princess.
a girl frigid like frost bite
but with more bark
what a mouth making wars
breaking hearts,
bone blown in the bodily catastrophe,
the condemnation of beauty,
undeniable eyes would watch her
indiscreet whispers are loud enough,
the gestures profane enough
for her to feel it melting her
down to nothing
the onset of warm years
lay waste to icicle veins
so pristine and sharp
and deadly they could
tear a part of soul
slick straight right out of its shell
here danger, here blues!
extinguished in the haze
of crazed heat waves
her pretty eyes go listless
reduced to a small body of water
the demise of the ice princess.
28 April 2010
Time separates us the distance
of 12 years is almost stifling
within them
I grew accustomed to the only child life
or shall I say the lonely child life,
when all I had was the wax in Crayola crayons
to indicate inert fancy,
beautiful girls on holiday, filthy rich
I was selfish.
I didn't want you born,
I didn't want you to shatter
my dreamy lonesome kingdom
of which I was the sole ruler.
Little sister.
I was so cruel to you when all
you deserved was a little understanding.
But my darling,
I love you.
Your little hands,
chewed down finger nails I painted last weekend,
your straight brown hair,
messed up on one side because it got stuck in a zipper,
your sturdy legs, beat up from clumsiness.
I love you little sister, I was so harsh before.
But I'm going to work hard for you,
for your respect and love.
I will give you what I was given.
I will graduate and marry and move to California and you can live with me.
I love you little sister.
I love you.
of 12 years is almost stifling
within them
I grew accustomed to the only child life
or shall I say the lonely child life,
when all I had was the wax in Crayola crayons
to indicate inert fancy,
beautiful girls on holiday, filthy rich
I was selfish.
I didn't want you born,
I didn't want you to shatter
my dreamy lonesome kingdom
of which I was the sole ruler.
Little sister.
I was so cruel to you when all
you deserved was a little understanding.
But my darling,
I love you.
Your little hands,
chewed down finger nails I painted last weekend,
your straight brown hair,
messed up on one side because it got stuck in a zipper,
your sturdy legs, beat up from clumsiness.
I love you little sister, I was so harsh before.
But I'm going to work hard for you,
for your respect and love.
I will give you what I was given.
I will graduate and marry and move to California and you can live with me.
I love you little sister.
I love you.
27 April 2010
Made up from misnomered
kindred behind some grand purpose
the streets of Cebu call out
to their stolen daughter
they cry out for her,
left without legacy on the shores of
a melting pot nation it segregates
ingredient peoples
separate and questioned about identity
And when they ask her,
she goes silent.
dark about what to say she is,
where she's from.
The streets of her blood linked homeland
cry out:
Daughter, we missed out on your childhood,
we wanted you to know us,
your aunties and uncles all long
to see your face, and oh,
you've missed the halo halo
in the hot hot heat bare feet
and jeepney drives through the city,
laughter,
the secrets of Siquijor,
the heroes
and the dirt poor mixed.
Daughter, why were you stolen before we could teach you Tagalog?
How we wish you could know
and carry us on through the miles,
keep us intact in your sunshine heart,
we miss you.
Find a way back to us,
let us give you the the things you've never tried
but yearn for.
Daughter,
we miss you,
find a way back, the part of you that's never left.
Daughter, we love you.
kindred behind some grand purpose
the streets of Cebu call out
to their stolen daughter
they cry out for her,
left without legacy on the shores of
a melting pot nation it segregates
ingredient peoples
separate and questioned about identity
And when they ask her,
she goes silent.
dark about what to say she is,
where she's from.
The streets of her blood linked homeland
cry out:
Daughter, we missed out on your childhood,
we wanted you to know us,
your aunties and uncles all long
to see your face, and oh,
you've missed the halo halo
in the hot hot heat bare feet
and jeepney drives through the city,
laughter,
the secrets of Siquijor,
the heroes
and the dirt poor mixed.
Daughter, why were you stolen before we could teach you Tagalog?
How we wish you could know
and carry us on through the miles,
keep us intact in your sunshine heart,
we miss you.
Find a way back to us,
let us give you the the things you've never tried
but yearn for.
Daughter,
we miss you,
find a way back, the part of you that's never left.
Daughter, we love you.
26 April 2010
i could be your devil
i could pull and rip
to shreds the sheets
the mocking of faith
marked stains on the bed
You lied when you claimed
angel the hint of the hard
edge hand on hilt ready
to strike rage infused in
the monk you tried to be
I dethroned you in a
wince you shed one tear
torn from a scrupulous socket
protect the vision I set
in your unholy march
empty were your hands in prayer
When I could see in the sin in you
28.4.10
25 April 2010
Thing
no reason but what it was I felt compacted into tiny globules
in my blood stream making me work for it, let me get so
close but then it rips away flirtation waves coax me outward
bound to whims I may not fancy but comply out of a profane
necessity to be at its heels answering to every singular
beck and call faithful as a dog for a bone I'd sit roll play dead
so real I'd bleed and suffer and bury myself all for it
didn't matter-- I wanted to be in the right hand of favor
be the lovely most desired pet be the sweetness the cure
the slave to every word or movement of a hand I would kiss
with fervor for it unexpectedly came on a night unpronounced
no name no meaning no reason but it was I felt compacted
into tiny globules in my blood stream pushing for something
I didn't dare to speak
24 April 2010
Sugar Starved/ My Dad is a Dentist/ 2 Cavities
Tangerine smiles and licorice hair candy sweet
wrapped up in cellophane tinted in pink my love
darling your swirls the melting tacky touch sticky
placed on a sugar starved tongue plagued by
constant deprivation oh I wants you lovely
and perfectly delicately stranded saccharine
delicious little piece of clandestine rebellion no one
must know of our meeting no one must know
of our tryst twist of obedience I needed you
darling your swirls the melting tacky touch sticky
placed on a sugar starved tongue plagued by
constant deprivation oh I wants you lovely
and perfectly delicately stranded saccharine
delicious little piece of clandestine rebellion no one
must know of our meeting no one must know
of our tryst twist of obedience I needed you
27.4.10
23 April 2010
father, I thought I found you
on a train backing away from home
you had a black hat and brown coat, a brief case
and eyes that were curiously and familiarly brown
and black flecked like mine in sunset train tracks
I ran along side you my knob kneed stockinged legs
dandy lions and weeds smacking across them I ran
the tracks to catch you but I was a runt unwanted, too scrawny
to catch you, abandoned, I yelled out
dandy lions and weeds smacking across them I ran
the tracks to catch you but I was a runt unwanted, too scrawny
to catch you, abandoned, I yelled out
and like fate you looked back:
"Estranged father, is it you?"
"Estranged father, is it you?"
You shook your head and cast down
the same brown and black flecked eyes just like mine what
did it mean I would grow big as a bastard child
that bore the key to open wedlock words
escape you father you turn your back to me
and left me breathless panting in sobs that robbed all
my other thoughts went missing but the big
neon lights would illuminate the UNWANTED
in my mind I found my father but he wasn't a dad I was sure
it was you
you had eyes that were brown and black flecked like mine
and left me breathless panting in sobs that robbed all
my other thoughts went missing but the big
neon lights would illuminate the UNWANTED
in my mind I found my father but he wasn't a dad I was sure
it was you
you had eyes that were brown and black flecked like mine
mine mine you were my father but you weren't and you left
on a train estranged father,
I have eyes just like you.
on a train estranged father,
I have eyes just like you.
22 April 2010
Petty wounds let me lick them
monstrous eyes your grotesque stare
with empty sockets what a pair we'd make
together a mix of hell and earth suffering
under the weight of making it real feeling
that if it's not hard enough, it must mean dreaming
if it doesn't puncture it's pretend so I cut deep
and aim for the spot synonymous with slay I will
grab your wrists hook in and pin you down I won't let you
down I'm going to take you under the covers under the
warm sweet fluff fake shit give you blood the stuff that makes you
pushes you to put one foot in front of the other side
slide the tongue and let the lies roll and ride the roads
mark shock retreat play
the body like a name game
lick suck repeat pull
the trigger index the finger
me into you into me into you
slay
lay
take cover grit teeth awake
together a mix of hell and earth suffering
under the weight of making it real feeling
that if it's not hard enough, it must mean dreaming
if it doesn't puncture it's pretend so I cut deep
and aim for the spot synonymous with slay I will
grab your wrists hook in and pin you down I won't let you
down I'm going to take you under the covers under the
warm sweet fluff fake shit give you blood the stuff that makes you
pushes you to put one foot in front of the other side
slide the tongue and let the lies roll and ride the roads
mark shock retreat play
the body like a name game
lick suck repeat pull
the trigger index the finger
me into you into me into you
slay
lay
take cover grit teeth awake
24.4.10
21 April 2010
Mi Islita
No me olvides
aqui en el mismo cabana
al borde del oceano
esperando la noche
vas a volver a mis brazos
de oro del sol
con flores tejidas
en las hebras de mi pelo
reuni estrellas del cielo
para darle
mi carino
marinero del otro lado de la tierra
tu tienes un ojo por lo extico
y yo soy tu ninfa extranjera
un corazon encantado
traido por las olas
y las aromas de un sueno
tu vas a volver
puedo sentirte en the briza
No me olvides
aqui en el mismo cabana
al borde del oceano
esperando la noche
vas a volver a mis brazos
de oro del sol
con flores tejidas
en las hebras de mi pelo
reuni estrellas del cielo
para darle
mi carino
marinero del otro lado de la tierra
tu tienes un ojo por lo extico
y yo soy tu ninfa extranjera
un corazon encantado
traido por las olas
y las aromas de un sueno
tu vas a volver
puedo sentirte en the briza
20 April 2010
I have walked through the deserts of a full range of emotion burning
hot and frostbite cold with a cheche to protect the face
that bears all evidence of the exquisite consuming facets
the human condition invocations of ink stained hands
writing to decipher nights of discourse and passion
the mingling of pleasure and blood thoughts and action
dream scapes like a place down the road, there but very quiet
like the abandoned one room shack in the background of
love and magic and Paris and music or some mixture thereof
the elixir of merging lanes like veins of eternal variation
the highs and lows from being in a lover's arms to being
strangled by the same hand some other worlds meaning
lovely words to speak of hatred and hypothermia tongues
to speak of ardor admiration sometimes
its affliction that reveals what sweet smooth smiles simply can't
torment temptation night sweats the dark cool pools
in the back bends tend to swell and flux with the lucre
of pirate gold a heart to satiate the romantic
though criminal it may be I could care for the crooked
for I am no proper royal, no ruler straight for judgement
so in the final days, I will know and I will tell you Bastard,
I love you
hot and frostbite cold with a cheche to protect the face
that bears all evidence of the exquisite consuming facets
the human condition invocations of ink stained hands
writing to decipher nights of discourse and passion
the mingling of pleasure and blood thoughts and action
dream scapes like a place down the road, there but very quiet
like the abandoned one room shack in the background of
love and magic and Paris and music or some mixture thereof
the elixir of merging lanes like veins of eternal variation
the highs and lows from being in a lover's arms to being
strangled by the same hand some other worlds meaning
lovely words to speak of hatred and hypothermia tongues
to speak of ardor admiration sometimes
its affliction that reveals what sweet smooth smiles simply can't
torment temptation night sweats the dark cool pools
in the back bends tend to swell and flux with the lucre
of pirate gold a heart to satiate the romantic
though criminal it may be I could care for the crooked
for I am no proper royal, no ruler straight for judgement
so in the final days, I will know and I will tell you Bastard,
I love you
23.4.10
21.4.10
19- April- 2010
cuando yo soy sin tu alma
entrelazado con mi corazoncito
casi rompe tu no crees
no quiero ser una reina de belleza
con labios pintados y miradas que atraen
con ojos japonesa
porque si no estas aqui conmigo
no hay razon
no hay necesidad
de existir otra cosa pero un monstruo
entrelazado con mi corazoncito
casi rompe tu no crees
no quiero ser una reina de belleza
con labios pintados y miradas que atraen
con ojos japonesa
porque si no estas aqui conmigo
no hay razon
no hay necesidad
de existir otra cosa pero un monstruo
18-April-2010
walking past the broke spines of cruel intentions
and dirty looks for thieves and crooks
the ribs crunching being pulverized into fine dust
that spreads through the air to recall the synthesis
of hurt spit blood and ruthless baby--a single kiss
but your lips so jagged stand sentinel for fangs
transformed by the black love magic scraped
from the innards of a loved ones restless corpse
bound corset tight by the raw rage of emotion
choked up so you can't breathe or speak to me
a single syllable sound to satiate my saintlike purpose
cause I want be Christ like in your salvation
take you up into me, secret keeping future making
unfolding my origami heart to decipher
the Baybayin script forming prose
that walks you through the way I care
from the strong loving hands of ancestors tattooed
to the modern hearts of girls like glass
who know the pain of being shattered
all the substance from their past
from the deep deep rut you were stuck struck
you'll find a life line held tight by my hands
won't let you go drop like St. Lucie rain
will cascade and clean the wounds
inflicted by your indigo past blue with the vastness
of your lows so infrequently inhabited by your highs
but I-- I can merge and stretch the flesh on your back
and gently tear past the tissues to delicately interact
with anatomy I will give you great grey feathers and tubular veins
a structure much like gifts of Samael on a throne higher than the clouds
the gift of wings to blow the lows and proudly meet the sky
with a smile on your war tatter face inclined by
a love lit like aurora in my eyes son of dawn
she was your emptiness
I am your high
won't let you go drop like St. Lucie rain
will cascade and clean the wounds
inflicted by your indigo past blue with the vastness
of your lows so infrequently inhabited by your highs
but I-- I can merge and stretch the flesh on your back
and gently tear past the tissues to delicately interact
with anatomy I will give you great grey feathers and tubular veins
a structure much like gifts of Samael on a throne higher than the clouds
the gift of wings to blow the lows and proudly meet the sky
with a smile on your war tatter face inclined by
a love lit like aurora in my eyes son of dawn
she was your emptiness
I am your high
20.4.10
19.4.10
17- April- 2010
from a spectrum of folklore coloured
into increasingly intricate intertwined designs
in the dark blank ether waiting to be told
he was a wish far away grant slanted
slightly away from initial intent
his mother held her milky arms up
for a child that came 3 months too soon
a minuscule mortal mound almost dead from its own abyss
for the want and the miss the early absence from the womb
little lamb fed full on dream matter
you'll dance to a rhythm we can't comprehend
the slender tops of birch trees
scratched with etchings of eyes
they will see it all.
see it all transpire.
into increasingly intricate intertwined designs
in the dark blank ether waiting to be told
he was a wish far away grant slanted
slightly away from initial intent
his mother held her milky arms up
for a child that came 3 months too soon
a minuscule mortal mound almost dead from its own abyss
for the want and the miss the early absence from the womb
little lamb fed full on dream matter
you'll dance to a rhythm we can't comprehend
the slender tops of birch trees
scratched with etchings of eyes
they will see it all.
see it all transpire.
16 April 2010
remember when it was someone else's regret
pushed on through the membrane misdirection
though the veins like line and airwaves
the metallic clang of tools to dissect
the resurrection of all the mutterings moldering
in dark dank cells where it's forgotten
because she's not going to be remembered
and if she is remembered, she'll only be
little clips of a sullen clenched fist bitch
and nobody saw the demons in her eyes
the carnival disguise a mime using hands
to tell a white face hush sound
silence
the waves die down and all that she was is
or ever will be
is sucked drowned down deep
in someone else's putrid breath
pushed on through the membrane misdirection
though the veins like line and airwaves
the metallic clang of tools to dissect
the resurrection of all the mutterings moldering
in dark dank cells where it's forgotten
because she's not going to be remembered
and if she is remembered, she'll only be
little clips of a sullen clenched fist bitch
and nobody saw the demons in her eyes
the carnival disguise a mime using hands
to tell a white face hush sound
silence
the waves die down and all that she was is
or ever will be
is sucked drowned down deep
in someone else's putrid breath
17.4.10
15 April 2010
on the docks with the flickering of ship lights
in the dead cold of a winter I tend to spend solo
waiting through residual nights almost starless
hands bitten bone bloody by the beast of wind
splashed by the wooing sea's unwanted serenade
the call of sirens tempt provoke my senses
to follow them below the waves to the wet
the death of an eternal bed among their scales
and tendrils and shells their calls
the concentration of hell between my eyes
an ache to match the craving in my chest
pumping for your distance pumping to protest
how far gone you are from the side that will never leave you
lonesome, I'm a virgin to being so full of echoes
reverberating on the rocks to cosmos
feeding me with rough drafts of tragedy
that will be re-written again and again
with so little to be changed,
I have little else to think
save you can't make it on your way
in the dead cold of a winter I tend to spend solo
waiting through residual nights almost starless
hands bitten bone bloody by the beast of wind
splashed by the wooing sea's unwanted serenade
the call of sirens tempt provoke my senses
to follow them below the waves to the wet
the death of an eternal bed among their scales
and tendrils and shells their calls
the concentration of hell between my eyes
an ache to match the craving in my chest
pumping for your distance pumping to protest
how far gone you are from the side that will never leave you
lonesome, I'm a virgin to being so full of echoes
reverberating on the rocks to cosmos
feeding me with rough drafts of tragedy
that will be re-written again and again
with so little to be changed,
I have little else to think
save you can't make it on your way
14.4.10
14 April 2010
que hicistes con mi corazon?
soledad soledad
ayer, vivia alli
con odio y oscuridad
entre el solano
con el olor de un sotano
en un lugar en la cama
esta las huellas de un cadaver
un fantasma
hasta que me guardara
con sus manos
y besos como la eucaristia
y santa sangre
soledad, soledad
matado por las mismas manos
manchado con la mugre de pasion
soledad soledad
la infusion del amor
ha sido su asesino
soledad soledad
ayer, vivia alli
con odio y oscuridad
entre el solano
con el olor de un sotano
en un lugar en la cama
esta las huellas de un cadaver
un fantasma
hasta que me guardara
con sus manos
y besos como la eucaristia
y santa sangre
soledad, soledad
matado por las mismas manos
manchado con la mugre de pasion
soledad soledad
la infusion del amor
ha sido su asesino
13 April 2010
long distance isn't really long
when i get to see you consistently,
but just a little jump in sight
can burn and tear
im so lovingly attached,
choked up on words,
cut in half by the way you hold me,
destroying me with such exquisite care,
you play pretend,
gauge out my brown eyes,
grab my black hair
whip lash down my back
I'm ensnared
But I know the game we both play,
makes us think we don't want what we know we can't do without
all we ever.
You know what?
It's not like the movies.
It's something better.
Run to you under a city sunset
pavement scratches my feet
but you love my dirty toes
and and my filthy lips
which have cursed and sailor sworn
like i'm a pirate
but you love me
when i get to see you consistently,
but just a little jump in sight
can burn and tear
im so lovingly attached,
choked up on words,
cut in half by the way you hold me,
destroying me with such exquisite care,
you play pretend,
gauge out my brown eyes,
grab my black hair
whip lash down my back
I'm ensnared
But I know the game we both play,
makes us think we don't want what we know we can't do without
all we ever.
You know what?
It's not like the movies.
It's something better.
Run to you under a city sunset
pavement scratches my feet
but you love my dirty toes
and and my filthy lips
which have cursed and sailor sworn
like i'm a pirate
but you love me
13.4.10
12 April 2010
The song Last Dance With MaryJane by Tom Petty was playing, and I sort of used it as my prompt, this is what I got: (PS, MaryJane is my grandmother's name!!)
blue eyes tattooed on my back
shadow dancing in the west
i give you my all, I give you my best.
the winds can't weave words to explain
the ways I used to look at you,
eating me inside out,
the winged creatures that came from your mouth.
i want to drink tea and coffee with you
in diners in the middle of no where
spread out and seek stars
on a blanket in the desert night,
the warm and docile breeze,
the outlines of saguaros
and bats' silhouettes,
surrounding us,
encompassing a moment we might never forget,
a second of forgiveness and gratitude,
the grounding of fear and elevation of a desire.
A moment where a single glance might collapse an empire
or grow eternity from earthly veins
soaking up the sweat from our heat
crowned on a Navajo blanket
somewhere deep in a desert in the middle of nowhere
dust spelling out our names
blue eyes tattooed on my back
shadow dancing in the west
i give you my all, I give you my best.
the winds can't weave words to explain
the ways I used to look at you,
eating me inside out,
the winged creatures that came from your mouth.
i want to drink tea and coffee with you
in diners in the middle of no where
spread out and seek stars
on a blanket in the desert night,
the warm and docile breeze,
the outlines of saguaros
and bats' silhouettes,
surrounding us,
encompassing a moment we might never forget,
a second of forgiveness and gratitude,
the grounding of fear and elevation of a desire.
A moment where a single glance might collapse an empire
or grow eternity from earthly veins
soaking up the sweat from our heat
crowned on a Navajo blanket
somewhere deep in a desert in the middle of nowhere
dust spelling out our names
11.4.10
11 April 2010
As dark as my soul feels I'm not going to forget all my blessings, all the good things, all the happiness I felt in this heart. With you and me, I'm going to hold us together, and if we get torn and tattered, I'm going to sew us together, and stitch patches where our seams get compromised because I believe in us, and if I can't believe in this, what faith can I have here? I want to love you, get lost in loving you, feel the bliss of it, feel the pain too. I adore you. I want to take us from the east to the west and back again, let's kiss in Paris and get lost in Spain, let's go away, forget our pain, just live and be thankful, for all that we're granted, love and love deeply, get lost in our embrace.
10 April 2010
i'm gonna rest with the things swept aside
and boxed into basements
and laced with silk cobwebs,
swell and stretch, extend and and bend.
take my brittle hand,
i'll take the last of what I hold
to show you all my secrets,
expose you to the cold i used to know
when i dropped down and lost to the tangle of words
and the scourge that deals my blows
as I'm bent over in rags,
handcuffed/ gagged/ subliminal
waiting
bent
waiting
crushed
waiting
enchained
waiting
for your switch
and boxed into basements
and laced with silk cobwebs,
swell and stretch, extend and and bend.
take my brittle hand,
i'll take the last of what I hold
to show you all my secrets,
expose you to the cold i used to know
when i dropped down and lost to the tangle of words
and the scourge that deals my blows
as I'm bent over in rags,
handcuffed/ gagged/ subliminal
waiting
bent
waiting
crushed
waiting
enchained
waiting
for your switch
9 April 2010
i'm wrapped in the snow
but i'm oblivious to cold
cause the heat pushing mercury
is making all my organs
pound pound pound
put a head against my chest
and it will pulse to the battle beat
as i'm low on patience
and high on the fumes
the contact plumes
of an insolent drug dug from someones nostrils
and their brains,
not the same as the substance
i once drained from my veins
to escape the fate i almost fell against to scrape
the lies they tell against my heart and intelligence
and make me reckon faults as factors to condemn
a rotten soul marked with pock scars and blemishes.
i'll find the cause and kill its master
harder and faster than i've tried to do
anything else in this bird cage
exist in the shallow grave of shit
and tarred resistance.
you are my substance,
you are the cause.
disaster.
a mirror,
tell it all.
hide no truth in your silver.
drip drip drop the your alchemy
I.
AM.
THE.
MASTER.
Search over,
im the cause,
i'm the factor.
i am the master.
the construct of all my pain,
the monster born of its winter.
i'm the disease,
i am the sinner.
my soul will meet the blade
they will marry
and honeymoon in
crypt blood oceans
of the happy little girl
that lived somewhere
near my snowy heart
but i'm oblivious to cold
cause the heat pushing mercury
is making all my organs
pound pound pound
put a head against my chest
and it will pulse to the battle beat
as i'm low on patience
and high on the fumes
the contact plumes
of an insolent drug dug from someones nostrils
and their brains,
not the same as the substance
i once drained from my veins
to escape the fate i almost fell against to scrape
the lies they tell against my heart and intelligence
and make me reckon faults as factors to condemn
a rotten soul marked with pock scars and blemishes.
i'll find the cause and kill its master
harder and faster than i've tried to do
anything else in this bird cage
exist in the shallow grave of shit
and tarred resistance.
you are my substance,
you are the cause.
disaster.
a mirror,
tell it all.
hide no truth in your silver.
drip drip drop the your alchemy
I.
AM.
THE.
MASTER.
Search over,
im the cause,
i'm the factor.
i am the master.
the construct of all my pain,
the monster born of its winter.
i'm the disease,
i am the sinner.
my soul will meet the blade
they will marry
and honeymoon in
crypt blood oceans
of the happy little girl
that lived somewhere
near my snowy heart
8.4.10
8- April- 2010
I'm feelin it now
that love drunk punch shit
deep in my stomach
hit like a car crash
by the way you run it
my head into the windshield
the glass breaks into
a soul ache kristallnacht
in the pogrom
against my gypsy heart
in all its rage and rapture
against your core
and you capture me wrapped
in the infatuation
i feel for you
in every spectral sector
of who I am and what I lack
i thought I was your baby
i thought I was yours
but when i couldn't swim
you took me to the river
and told me I'm never coming back
in the stuttering of choked words
guttural blanks upon the banks of the Tyrol
washed up from the death of the fire
i felt betrayal and fury
and the masochist mischief
that raised the corner
of my mouth i wanted yours
upon mine wet with war water
and lust
you betrayed me
but it turned me out
and I wanted take you
under the rush
under my touch
the bitter sweet crush
somewhere deep inside
into me
.........
must this be the final solution babe?
maybe I'm okay with this
that love drunk punch shit
deep in my stomach
hit like a car crash
by the way you run it
my head into the windshield
the glass breaks into
a soul ache kristallnacht
in the pogrom
against my gypsy heart
in all its rage and rapture
against your core
and you capture me wrapped
in the infatuation
i feel for you
in every spectral sector
of who I am and what I lack
i thought I was your baby
i thought I was yours
but when i couldn't swim
you took me to the river
and told me I'm never coming back
in the stuttering of choked words
guttural blanks upon the banks of the Tyrol
washed up from the death of the fire
i felt betrayal and fury
and the masochist mischief
that raised the corner
of my mouth i wanted yours
upon mine wet with war water
and lust
you betrayed me
but it turned me out
and I wanted take you
under the rush
under my touch
the bitter sweet crush
somewhere deep inside
into me
.........
must this be the final solution babe?
maybe I'm okay with this
7 April 2010
3 AM's got my name written all over it. I want to sleep. And I'm hungry. I don't know what this is. But I'm going barefoot tomorrow.
6 April 2010
i want to burn the things that have your scent all over them, they let you creep back into my life right through my nostrils to my brain. I've become harder, I don't want to hear what people say. They become irrelevant to me and where I'm headed. So I'm going to focus on the things that are dear to me. And figure out where to put the rest.
5 April 2010
i want to be in a place
where I've got it all figured out
knowing what element
my heart is made of
and what makes it pulse
what makes it terminate
what makes me the star child
of decrepit earth
with eyes like water
hair like fire
and thoughts like air
where I've got it all figured out
knowing what element
my heart is made of
and what makes it pulse
what makes it terminate
what makes me the star child
of decrepit earth
with eyes like water
hair like fire
and thoughts like air
5.4.10
4 April 2010
habia una vez
cuando yo,
La Princesa de La Pena
estaba caminando
por la calle
comiendo helado de vanilla
y estaba contenta hasta que
el helado queria conocer el piso
y me forco a introducirlos
me perdi mis dulces
a un circunstancia desgraciada
y me olvide como preguntar
la manera mareada que el mundo gira
como una mota en el universo
cuando yo,
La Princesa de La Pena
estaba caminando
por la calle
comiendo helado de vanilla
y estaba contenta hasta que
el helado queria conocer el piso
y me forco a introducirlos
me perdi mis dulces
a un circunstancia desgraciada
y me olvide como preguntar
la manera mareada que el mundo gira
como una mota en el universo
3.4.10
3 April 2010
I'm always gonna keep a little part of myself even when I give it all
there's that part i can't remove and wrap up as a token
it's that little part of my heart thats gold and precious
it keeps me strong even at the most wicked part of love's infection
its resilience will keep me from being broken
keep me from going broke in Love's Great Gamble
I'll keep it because it is what I owe to myself
and I deserve that last shred of self respect
in my fall
2.4.10
2 April 2010
not worth remembering
hands strapped down at the sides
forget
carry on
minimize
the purpose or the heart once held
so it becomes invisible
erase and blow away the particles
leave no trace
the evidence in the skin
cut away
let it escape from memory
and burn everything
that was owned by someone else
change the locks
throw away the bottles on the shelf
forget about me
forget about the late night strolls
beneath the gloom of notre dame
forget about the lillies
forget about yourself
hands strapped down at the sides
forget
carry on
minimize
the purpose or the heart once held
so it becomes invisible
erase and blow away the particles
leave no trace
the evidence in the skin
cut away
let it escape from memory
and burn everything
that was owned by someone else
change the locks
throw away the bottles on the shelf
forget about me
forget about the late night strolls
beneath the gloom of notre dame
forget about the lillies
forget about yourself
1.4.10
1 April 2010
-POETRY MONTH 2010-
I turn the silver and let the red flow
I call you and you come with a cake of soap
Baby, have you had your share today?
You lift your hands and they are slashed
You have.
I guide you to the porcelain tub
the miniature of an ocean
we step in, there is a flood
Displacement
It's turned red from your barbed wire wounds
Eureka
I think I understand you, I think because you've stained us
I wash your back and there are 40 lashes
You look for ones that are absent
I use make up darling, hide it all with just a thin coat
atop the surface
Cause they don't need to know I'm weak
Cause they don't need to know I won't do it on my own
and that I bleed like them
Baby, you're the only love I've ever known
You sit back with me, let our hurt be washed away
in the light pink sweep of sweet pea
the quiet bubbles of cherry blossom
you make it all go a little easier
I turn the silver and let the red flow
I call you and you come with a cake of soap
Baby, have you had your share today?
You lift your hands and they are slashed
You have.
I guide you to the porcelain tub
the miniature of an ocean
we step in, there is a flood
Displacement
It's turned red from your barbed wire wounds
Eureka
I think I understand you, I think because you've stained us
I wash your back and there are 40 lashes
You look for ones that are absent
I use make up darling, hide it all with just a thin coat
atop the surface
Cause they don't need to know I'm weak
Cause they don't need to know I won't do it on my own
and that I bleed like them
Baby, you're the only love I've ever known
You sit back with me, let our hurt be washed away
in the light pink sweep of sweet pea
the quiet bubbles of cherry blossom
you make it all go a little easier
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