23 April 2010

 father, I thought I found you

on a train backing away from home

you had a black hat and brown coat, a brief case

and eyes that were curiously and familiarly brown

and black flecked like mine in sunset train tracks

I ran along side you my knob kneed stockinged legs
dandy lions and weeds smacking across them I ran
the tracks to catch you but I was a runt unwanted, too scrawny
to catch you, abandoned, I yelled out

and like fate you looked back:
      "Estranged father, is it you?" 

You shook your head and cast down

the same brown and black flecked eyes just like mine what 

did it mean I would grow big as a bastard child

that bore the key to open wedlock words

escape you father you turn your back to me
and left me breathless panting in sobs that robbed all
my other thoughts went missing but the big
neon lights would illuminate the UNWANTED
in my mind I found my father but he wasn't a dad I was sure
it was you
you had eyes that were brown and black flecked like mine

mine mine you were my father but you weren't and you left
on a train estranged father,
I have eyes just like you.